Book Review - Delete This at Your Peril: One Man's Hilarious Exchanges with Internet Spammers by Bob Servant
Category Book Review Bob Servant Delete This at Your Peril: One Man's Hilarious Exchanges with Internet Spammers
Come on.... admit it. You've always wanted to jerk the chain of those spammers who try to get you to part with personal information so they can scam you out of thousands of hard-earned dollars (pounds, pesos, whatever). Bob Servant did just that in 2007 and turned the email exchanges into the book Delete This at Your Peril: One Man's Hilarious Exchanges with Internet Spammers. This was a funny read, gifted with Servant's bizarre sense of humor and the pathetic attempts of the scammers trying to get the information they're after.
Contents:
Introduction - Meet Bob Servant; Editor's Note - An Overview of Spam; Lions, Gold and Confusion; Bob and the Postie; Alexandra, Bob, and Champion; Uncle Bob's African Adventure; The Sea Could Not Take Him, No Woman Could Tame Him; From Lanzhou to Willy's Chinese Palace; Bobby and Benjamin are New Friends; Peter's Pots; Acknowledgments
Each chapter consists of the email exchanges between the scammers and Servant. The scams revolve around 419, local agents needed, and fake Russian brides. I wish the timestamps on the emails had been preserved, as it would have been fun to see how eager these people were to accomplish their goals. In nearly all cases, Servant is dealing with "English as second language" people, so right there you get a fair amount of amusement as they try to string together decent sentences. But the real joy is when Servant starts to lead them down the path of his fictional life in Broughty Ferry, Scotland. Actually, his life is real. It's just the incidents that are way out there. For instance... Lions, Gold and Confusion starts with a 419 scam. Servant tries to get his percentage of the take moved from 20% to 30%. Once he gets 30% through a series of exchanges, he goes for 40%. From there, he says he doesn't want the money in cash as he can't hide it from the taxman. Instead, he wants it in diamonds and gold so he can move it through pawn shops in Lochee. He then introduces the possibility of taking payment in livestock (like lions) for his neighbor's private zoo. We go back and forth on the detail of the "gold lions", only to have Servant insist that he meant *real* lions. Oh, then the lions have to talk... he'll only accept talking lions... or four lions, two leopards, one elephant, one alligator, two parrots, and one hedgehog...
I enjoyed this on a number of levels. For one, Servant's Scottish culture comes through strong in both text and situation. Having a few Scottish friends, I wasn't having a hard time seeing these crazy situations play out in my mind. Servant's fantasy lives are so far out there, that you wonder why *anyone* would maintain the email exchange past the first couple of volleys. I also got a kick out of seeing the spammers beg and plead for personal information, only to have Servant respond with another "day in the life" email, excuses as to why he can't comply just then, or something else completely out of the blue. The change in the spammer's tone from accommodating to *DO THIS NOW!* was almost a given every time. But actually, in a couple of exchanges, he calls them on the scam at the end and they actually 'fess up to it.
I wouldn't suggest that everyone start doing this to spammers, as there's always a chance that you could tick off someone or some group with the ability to do you physical harm. I think I'll just continue to delete them as they show up. But if you want to live vicariously through Servant, here's your chance to turn the tables.
Come on.... admit it. You've always wanted to jerk the chain of those spammers who try to get you to part with personal information so they can scam you out of thousands of hard-earned dollars (pounds, pesos, whatever). Bob Servant did just that in 2007 and turned the email exchanges into the book Delete This at Your Peril: One Man's Hilarious Exchanges with Internet Spammers. This was a funny read, gifted with Servant's bizarre sense of humor and the pathetic attempts of the scammers trying to get the information they're after.
Contents:
Introduction - Meet Bob Servant; Editor's Note - An Overview of Spam; Lions, Gold and Confusion; Bob and the Postie; Alexandra, Bob, and Champion; Uncle Bob's African Adventure; The Sea Could Not Take Him, No Woman Could Tame Him; From Lanzhou to Willy's Chinese Palace; Bobby and Benjamin are New Friends; Peter's Pots; Acknowledgments
Each chapter consists of the email exchanges between the scammers and Servant. The scams revolve around 419, local agents needed, and fake Russian brides. I wish the timestamps on the emails had been preserved, as it would have been fun to see how eager these people were to accomplish their goals. In nearly all cases, Servant is dealing with "English as second language" people, so right there you get a fair amount of amusement as they try to string together decent sentences. But the real joy is when Servant starts to lead them down the path of his fictional life in Broughty Ferry, Scotland. Actually, his life is real. It's just the incidents that are way out there. For instance... Lions, Gold and Confusion starts with a 419 scam. Servant tries to get his percentage of the take moved from 20% to 30%. Once he gets 30% through a series of exchanges, he goes for 40%. From there, he says he doesn't want the money in cash as he can't hide it from the taxman. Instead, he wants it in diamonds and gold so he can move it through pawn shops in Lochee. He then introduces the possibility of taking payment in livestock (like lions) for his neighbor's private zoo. We go back and forth on the detail of the "gold lions", only to have Servant insist that he meant *real* lions. Oh, then the lions have to talk... he'll only accept talking lions... or four lions, two leopards, one elephant, one alligator, two parrots, and one hedgehog...
I enjoyed this on a number of levels. For one, Servant's Scottish culture comes through strong in both text and situation. Having a few Scottish friends, I wasn't having a hard time seeing these crazy situations play out in my mind. Servant's fantasy lives are so far out there, that you wonder why *anyone* would maintain the email exchange past the first couple of volleys. I also got a kick out of seeing the spammers beg and plead for personal information, only to have Servant respond with another "day in the life" email, excuses as to why he can't comply just then, or something else completely out of the blue. The change in the spammer's tone from accommodating to *DO THIS NOW!* was almost a given every time. But actually, in a couple of exchanges, he calls them on the scam at the end and they actually 'fess up to it.
I wouldn't suggest that everyone start doing this to spammers, as there's always a chance that you could tick off someone or some group with the ability to do you physical harm. I think I'll just continue to delete them as they show up. But if you want to live vicariously through Servant, here's your chance to turn the tables.