I understand the word "addiction" a bit better now...
Category Everything Else
Sometimes you have to go through an event to have a bit more sympathy for what others deal with in their lives. This surgery incident helped me to understand how addictions start and evolve...
Because I had two 4 inch gashes decorating my groin after surgery, I was sent home with the standard pain killer prescription to keep things bearable. In this case, it was oxycodone... 5 milligram tablets, take 1 to 2 every three hours as needed, etc, etc, etc. Pretty much the same thing I've seen when I've had the odd occasion to take something stronger than Tylenol. I took them on schedule for the first three or four days, occasionally letting more than three hours lapse during the night, and paying for it later as I tried to catch up with the pain. I got a refill that Friday, because I was going to be running out during the weekend, and I wasn't comfortable enough to want to continue on with just regular acetaminophen. We're not talking about getting dopey or happy while taking this stuff. Just "the incisions don't hurt much right now", and I could carry on normally (or as normally as one does after surgery). I had tapered down to only a couple doses a day by Sunday, and thought it was all fine.
And the body says... NO!
Wednesday was the first day I tried to go without taking any. By the end of the day, I felt as if I wanted to jump out of my skin. I was also really tired, so I took a couple of the pills to dull the ache and tried to go to bed. Guess who was now wide awake but not feeling jumpy any more... Hmmm... withdrawls? Yesterday I tried again to do without. Again by the end of the day, I was edgy. I may be slow, but I *can* put two and two together and get four more times than not. I rode that out and stayed with it today. And while my injury feels fine, I still have that "can I stretch really hard and shed my skin?" feeling. It would be tempting to "just take one" to stop this minor irritation. But then it would come back tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after, and eventually the remaining four or five pills would be gone. And I'd *still* have to deal with this...
We're not talking high doses of painkillers over months of serious injury, and then trying to stop. Minor usage, low dosage, 10 days. That's it. And *still* there's the small discomfort of withdrawl (or at least that's what I'm calling it, as I see a cause and effect here).
I don't condone illegal acts and crime to support an addiction to medication. Nor am I suggesting that people addicted to medications bear no responsibility and are to be pitied. What I *have* learned is that it's far more easy than I expected to find oneself in a difficult situation without realizing it. And if my experience is what it's like to start down that road, then I now understand that the path back could look impossible to those who have traveled it far longer (and with more need) than me...
So next time someone you respect relates problems with an addiction to some sort of substance, stop a moment to understand... It's not necessarily a recreational thing that got out of control, nor is it a sign of weakness or irresponsibility. The original issue may be long gone, but sometimes the cure brings with it a greater set of challenges than the disease.
And those last five pills I have remaining will never see the light of day again...
Sometimes you have to go through an event to have a bit more sympathy for what others deal with in their lives. This surgery incident helped me to understand how addictions start and evolve...
Because I had two 4 inch gashes decorating my groin after surgery, I was sent home with the standard pain killer prescription to keep things bearable. In this case, it was oxycodone... 5 milligram tablets, take 1 to 2 every three hours as needed, etc, etc, etc. Pretty much the same thing I've seen when I've had the odd occasion to take something stronger than Tylenol. I took them on schedule for the first three or four days, occasionally letting more than three hours lapse during the night, and paying for it later as I tried to catch up with the pain. I got a refill that Friday, because I was going to be running out during the weekend, and I wasn't comfortable enough to want to continue on with just regular acetaminophen. We're not talking about getting dopey or happy while taking this stuff. Just "the incisions don't hurt much right now", and I could carry on normally (or as normally as one does after surgery). I had tapered down to only a couple doses a day by Sunday, and thought it was all fine.
And the body says... NO!
Wednesday was the first day I tried to go without taking any. By the end of the day, I felt as if I wanted to jump out of my skin. I was also really tired, so I took a couple of the pills to dull the ache and tried to go to bed. Guess who was now wide awake but not feeling jumpy any more... Hmmm... withdrawls? Yesterday I tried again to do without. Again by the end of the day, I was edgy. I may be slow, but I *can* put two and two together and get four more times than not. I rode that out and stayed with it today. And while my injury feels fine, I still have that "can I stretch really hard and shed my skin?" feeling. It would be tempting to "just take one" to stop this minor irritation. But then it would come back tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after, and eventually the remaining four or five pills would be gone. And I'd *still* have to deal with this...
We're not talking high doses of painkillers over months of serious injury, and then trying to stop. Minor usage, low dosage, 10 days. That's it. And *still* there's the small discomfort of withdrawl (or at least that's what I'm calling it, as I see a cause and effect here).
I don't condone illegal acts and crime to support an addiction to medication. Nor am I suggesting that people addicted to medications bear no responsibility and are to be pitied. What I *have* learned is that it's far more easy than I expected to find oneself in a difficult situation without realizing it. And if my experience is what it's like to start down that road, then I now understand that the path back could look impossible to those who have traveled it far longer (and with more need) than me...
So next time someone you respect relates problems with an addiction to some sort of substance, stop a moment to understand... It's not necessarily a recreational thing that got out of control, nor is it a sign of weakness or irresponsibility. The original issue may be long gone, but sometimes the cure brings with it a greater set of challenges than the disease.
And those last five pills I have remaining will never see the light of day again...
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Comments
Posted by Gregg Eldred At 06:17:34 On 02/10/2006 | - Website - |
Posted by Trina Munson At 09:08:01 On 06/10/2006 | - Website - |
Posted by Kevin Pettitt At 13:21:43 On 04/10/2006 | - Website - |
Very truthful of you to admit to this, Tom. Imagine what NFL players go though each week. Not hard to understand how Brett Favre became addicted to pain killers. Seems he's addicted to football too. It must be hard to give football up too.
I didn't have much compassion for Rush Limbaugh after he admitted to addiction. He ran his mouth condemning people in similar circumstances.
Hope your recovery is going well.
Posted by Curt Stone At 09:45:21 On 01/10/2006 | - Website - |
I can definitely relate. Same thing happened to me when I got my wisdom teeth out. My body started craving the painkillers closer and closer together. They would "wear off" and I'd feel the pain after 4 hours, then 3.5 hrs., then 3.
Interestingly, after I'd made it through a day without, there was no pain at all.
Hopefully all's going well and you're on the road to recovery.
...Deb
Posted by ChangeWarrior (Deb) At 14:26:46 On 03/10/2006 | - Website - |
Posted by Duffbert At 11:06:41 On 01/10/2006 | - Website - |