Hi, I'm Notes... - Patching Holes
Title: Patching Holes (parody of I'm a Mac and I'm a PC advertisement)
Scene: Notes character is on right dressed business casual, neat and trim. Exchange character is on left with torn, ripped, ragged clothes. There's a table next to him with sewing supplies, staplers, tape dispenser, and duct tape. Scene opens with Exchange character using duct tape to cover up a hole or rip in some piece of clothing.
Notes: Hi, I'm IBM Lotus Notes/Domino.
Exchange: And I'm Microsoft Exchange.
Notes: Uh, so what happened? Are you OK?
Exchange: I'm fine. It's just that whenever I go out these days, I end up getting all these holes that I end up having to patch up. All those people poking and prodding me... They just ruin everything I wear...
Notes: That's too bad.
<Exchange character starts to hand the duct tape over to the Notes character.>
Exchange: Here... You can use my repair tools. I have plenty of them. I can share.
Notes: No thanks, I'm fine.
Exchange: No, really... Holes in your clothes look really bad.
Notes: But I don't need your repairs. I'm the most secure messaging system on the market today. I go out and around, talk to people, go about my business, and my clothes look as good as they did when I left. I'm fine...
<Exchange character drops the duct tape roll, bends over to grab it, and the seat of his pants rip out. He stops halfway down.>
<Notes character bends over, grabs the tape roll.>
Notes: Here, let me get that for you...
<Alternative ending line - Notes: I have some chewing gum if you'd like to borrow it...>
<fade to Notes/Domino logo...>