Who is this "Johnson" person, and why does everybody email me about him?
There seems to be a fascination with some person named "Johnson" lately, and people seem to think I'm concerned about him.
They want to know if I'm satisfied with the size of my Johnson... why ask me? Ask Johnson. Apparently he's got a medical problem, because there are a lot of offers to provide Johnson with drugs... Must be some human growth hormone, as it's normally in some request to make him bigger. Socially, he must be quite friendly, as there are some emails offering to introduce him to some attractive females. That's really nice.
If I'm ever able to track this Johnson guy down, I'll make sure to forward all the email I've been receiving for him. I feel bad that he's missing out on what seems to be very important emails...