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If you're going to go out, go out in style (or at least in a "memorable" way)...

Category #ls12 Lotus Notes Microsoft
... and allowing myself to be talked into doing karaoke with Andy Donaldson, at Kimonos, singing Sonny and Cher's I Got You Babe was definitely "memorable".

It's Friday after Lotusphere 2012, one week since I checked into the Dolphin for what has been an annual tradition in my personal and professional life.  And like all Lotuspheres, it's a time of reflection, emotions, change, and renewal. This one was a bit more difficult and bittersweet, however. Unless I'm totally off the mark in how my professional life unfolds, this was likely my last Lotusphere.

It's hard to type that...

As many of you know, my employer brought in SharePoint a couple years back, and we migrated to Exchange and Outlook.  Five years ago, I would have been devastated, as I was Lotus Yellow, through and through.  But after observing trends and seeing both sides somewhat closer than I expected, I came to the point where the evangelical fervor was gone. Pragmatism took over, probably flavored with a dash of cynicism.  You don't live through the Enron experience without becoming a bit jaded.  As a result, IBM and Microsoft became vendors instead of representations of right and wrong.  Notes and SharePoint became tools to accomplish business functions, not causes on which to stake my career and reputation.  Do I still like Notes? Most definitely. It has capabilities that no other software has, and I can work miracles for users with it.  Is it perfect? No.  Is SharePoint inherently evil? No, it's a tool, just like Notes.  Each offering has good and bad points, strength and weaknesses.  And for every bad Notes or SharePoint experience, you can find a matching success story.

If I had my way, I'd continue to work with Notes until I retire (much closer than I'd like that point to be), and the fun of Notes/Domino would go on forever.  But... change happens.

For various reasons, I've tried hard to maintain a strong presence in the Notes community while working on getting up to speed on SharePoint.  I've written two Sametime books with Marie Scott and Gab Davis over the last two years. I've continued to travel and speak at user group meetings and conferences (on my own dime). I still write on Notes-related topics.  But I've come to the point where I know there's only so many hours in the day, and I'm doing both sides of my professional existence a disservice.  Notes/Domino has moved into XPages, Connections, and various other "social" offerings, but I've not been able to keep up there except for maintaining a general knowledge of the topics.  On the SharePoint side, I've put off a lot of learning because we were migrating from 2007 to 2010 "soon."  I've learned enough to be dangerous on SharePoint 2007 and create sites for users, but I know I'm only scratching the surface.  And when I get back to the office on Monday, it'll be five days until we go live with SharePoint 2010.  Again, that's the area where I'm now focusing my career, and the "I haven't had time to get into topic <insert here>" becomes an excuse, not a reason, for not being further along.

So where does that leave me in terms of the Notes community?

The key word is "community."  I have made more friends and had more unforgettable experiences than I ever thought possible over the last 16 years.  I went from a reclusive Cobol programmer who wanted to move into Notes and be "really good" at this new thing, to someone who can stand up in front of hundreds of people and present... and actually enjoy it.  I went from someone who had barely left the west coast, to someone who actually has stamps in his passport. I've shared beers with friends in England, and drank sake with mates in Ireland... propped up in the corner of the kitchen... at 2 am.  

None of that goes away... ever.

What *does* change is that my technical focus in the community shifts.  I still use Notes, as I'm the only Notes developer in our company, and we all know how long migrations take (the answer being "forever").  I still plan on writing for the Notes Developer Tips newsletter, as I believe I still have things I can share there.  But will I continue to do conferences and try to present whenever and wherever I can? That probably goes away.  Lotusphere is not cheap, as we all know. I'm OK with spending the money to fly down and stay in the Dolphin or Swan. I'm still reclusive enough that I want to have my own room to retreat into.  But I can't justify another $2000 on top of all that for the conference pass. On top of that, I know that realistically I don't possess the latest and greatest in-depth knowledge that allows one to present and offer top value to the attendees.  Yes, there are topics I can speak to, such as Tivoli Directory Integrator. But Marie's really the expert there.  Yes, I seem to have a knack in helping first-time speakers survive that terrifying moment when the music stops and the mic goes live. You have no idea how proud I am of being part of that for the people I've helped.  But do I have the knowledge to stand up there on stage and dive into the intricacies of Eclipse plug-ins or explain how Sametime Proxies and MUXes work in real life? No.  And without that speaking slot to cover the conference cost, Lotusphere becomes an event that I can't justify the cost of when weighed against other things in my life.

I only missed one Lotusphere between 1997 and now, and that was in 2002 after Enron imploded and I was trying to make it as a contractor.  Knowing everyone was down here while I was still at home was not easy.  The week of January 27th, 2013, probably won't be any easier.  I can say now that it's the correct rational decision, but I know that as it gets closer, I'll question it... a lot.  There was an extremely thin shell on my emotions yesterday after the traditional blogger picture up on stage at the end of the closing session.  I looked out at the workers stacking the chairs, knowing that I probably will not see that sight again.  Right now, the shell is cracking as I type this, because Lotusphere has meant *so* much to me... it's shaped and defined who I am, both professionally and personally.  Melodramatic? Possibly... but when I look back at who I was and compare that to who I am now, so very much of that can be traced to an annual week in January at Walt Disney World.  It didn't help much that with each good-bye hug and handshake, I knew that virtual friends who became real for seven days each year would now in many cases be forever virtual.  

This isn't a good-bye, as I'll still be in all the regular places. The Lotus Jobs site will continue, my writing will continue, and I'll still annoy a number of people on Twitter by tweeting way too much.  I'll still be part of the afternoon entertainment when Mitch Cohen and/or Andy and I get sent to an internet timeout by Marie as she tries to get us to behave.  I will also remember what a few people have told me this week... Never Say Never.  

But if this was my last Lotusphere, thank you to everyone who made it a memorable one, and who have influenced and shaped me over the years.  There's no way I can ever fully express my gratitude for allowing me to be part of your lives in this annual family reunion.  This is the family I got to choose, and I think I chose very well.

Comments

Gravatar Image1 - Wow. This must have been tough to write and this past week must have been really something for you to go through.

I only got to meet you briefly for the first time at this, my 16th Lotusphere, and I am sorry to hear that you may not be here next year.

Thanks for all you have done for the community. You have set quite an example for others.

Gravatar Image2 - I feel your pain, in a very similar boat. Wasn't able to attend these past 2 years due to my office switching platforms. *sniff*, oh well, change happens, and lets face it, our region is not Lotus country.

Gravatar Image3 - @2 - very true... for all your statements.<br /><br />@1 - Thank you, Russell. That means a whole lot to me, as I'm basically a mess right now. Emoticon

Gravatar Image4 - Great to have been a part of your Lotusphere experience. From our 4a chats in front of the Dolphin while you waited for your shuttle to MCO, to Mai Tai nights, Lotus Education tips, and the excellent advice provided to me when we first became acquainted in 2006, I just want to say, (queue_bob_hope) "Thanks, for the memories." Proud to call you a friend, Duff. Looking forward to making many more memories in the future. Indeed, what a way to go out.

Gravatar Image5 - As a recovering Lotusphere addict, I can relate. I had the exact feelings three years ago as I left Lotusphere 09. I'm still using the backpack daily but my Lotus work is a fraction of what it used to be.

It's a good thing to expand our knowledge in multiple technologies.

Hope one will fill our spirit as much as Lotus did for so many years.

Cheers

Gravatar Image6 - So sad to hear this!
Can only say one thing: you might be losing Lotus as a focus, you are not losing the lotus community. You'll still be part of that because it is about so much more then just the software. Feeling blessed I got to see you this week and will continue to see you online!

Gravatar Image7 - Duff I'm sat here waiting for a plane home and someone has just told me to read this post. I felt the same way last year and look at me know. Like I'm sure I said to you, 'never say never'.
I have to say that I have enjoyed this years 'sphere as a non-IBMer and I'm going to blog about that soon. I don't think that you'll ever become irrelevant to the community. I'm certainly starting to feel that way as I sit here and read some session reviews.
Oh and one last thing....
"Thanks" for being an active part of the community. It's people like you that inspire the rest of us to aspire to be so active.
I intend to be a non-virtual buddy.
I know I'll SEE YOU SOON ;o)

Gravatar Image8 - I'm very sorry to hear this, for purely selfish reasons. You've been a leader & a force ever since I joined this community and I will miss you. On the other hand it sounds exciting to learn new tools and if/when you ever make the leap to contracting those skills will serve you well.

You know what they say though: "Once in, Never out." You've meant way too much to the Lotus community for it to let you just slip away. You will always have a place at the table, my friend, and I for one will break bread & share beers with you anytime.

Gravatar Image9 - And just as my eyes started to dry out, you all mess me up again... Emoticon

I appreciate all of you, and you're right... I won't be saying good-bye.

Gravatar Image10 - Remember how I said my good bye? Now cue Jackson Browne "The Load-Out".

Gravatar Image11 - Now I am really upset that I missed the show this year. I don't know what to say.

I understand where you are coming from and why you feel the way you do, but know this, you will always be part of the Lotus community.

Right now I am looking at TweetDeck and there is your face staring back at me from your latest (was going to say last) tweet and thinking that it cannot end like this.

If you make it to any of the LUGs this year, the first round is on me as my way to say thank you for everything.

Gravatar Image12 - No matter what tools you may be working with, don't forget that it's the connections between the people that matter - you already know this because that's what you've been doing for others the last 16 years (at least). Stay true to that and the rest works itself out...

And I have a feeling that your extended family, friends, and many acquaintances won't let you off the Lotusphere hook so easily - as with Cher, Bono, or Fabio - "one name people" like Duffbert always seem to come back, and often re-invented for the better :)

Gravatar Image13 - Tom - I am not going to say goodbye. There is no reason. There are plenty of folks who made this transition and found a way to stay as part of the active community. If I can do 10+ years of integration sessions between Notes and Office, you can do the same. Why not do some sessions on migration and coexistence. Write a book on it. Maybe the right place for you to speak is for you and I to bring together XPages and SharePoint in a kick ass coexistence & integration session. I don't know, but we have about 300 days to work it out. So please don't throw in the towel ... let's just find a new, fluffy, and different colored one ... us ex-BVC folks need to stick together! Emoticon

Gravatar Image14 - I almost cried reading that. Emoticon Maybe we can create an abstract together so you can still be a speaker?

Gravatar Image15 - As I said at the end... Never Say Never. :) But I *do* need to give myself some distance and time to let those things sort out...

Gravatar Image16 - As one of those who benefited greatly from the assistance you provided to encourage new speakers to get on the stage, I would like to thank you for the many contributions you have made to our community (and will continue to make).
I am sure the relevance of Lotusphere will change for many of us over the coming years. But not always in a linear fashion. At the end of the day we all work to deliver collaborative (aka social) solutions and IBM is going to be a major player for quite some time. Products, brands, and market share are forever changing. So if not 2013, perhaps it will be at a later Lotusphere where the work you do will again justify your attendance. I certainly hope so.

Gravatar Image17 - Thanks, Peter... and thanks everyone for the encouragement. It's all too common for me to wonder if I matter or make a difference. While that was not the goal of this particular post, I'm happy to know that I really *do* make a difference for people.

Gravatar Image18 - Tom, this post was hard to me to read as well. I see a lot of myself here even though I was never as heavily involved in the community and speaking and all as you. But I certainly did enjoy my 8 years in a row of attending Lotusphere (03 - 10) and getting to know and love many of those in the community. Must say it's gotten a little easier to watch (or at least listen) to everything unfold down there for a week each year, but I know I won't ever be back there unless something major happens in my professional life and Notes/Domino becomes a part of it again. Hopefully I may be able to see you and interact with you and actually a quite few of the other "previously-Notes" developers at SharePoint tech conferences as that's likely where I'll be. Still love to be able to be connected the community of friends that I don't think I'll ever leave as well.

Sorry for the rambling, but I'm glad you posted this so I could gush a little too.

Thanks man!
Phil

Gravatar Image19 - Tom, remember the important words of Michael J. Fox: Play to the Moment, not the result. I wasn't at Lotusphere 2005 - 2008, because my company was going to Oracle's CRM and scrapping all of the Lotus Notes Applications. After the sales team saw Oracle's Sales Off line (SOL), they demanded that we keep Notes. I still fight the battle, but, today, we are holding onto Notes. The future is not set and you never know what will happen. I have often thought if I win the lottery, I would still want to be in Orlando during Lotusphere, just to see the people. It would be interesting to plan a vacation during that time and still see everyone after regular conference hours. I've spent time with you every year that I have been since we officially met in 1998. I hope you continue to find reasons to come to Orlando in January and hope I will still be there, as well. Jo Ann

Gravatar Image20 - We've chatted privately...I still smile inside at the conversation years back trying to convince you why it would be good to start a blog. And next thing you know, you're leading the way and I've joined you to write a couple of articles, author cert exams, speak at Lotusphere, etc. You've got more energy (or caffeine or something) than I to keep up with the writing (esp. books!) and speaking. But we all continue to learn. We've retooled many times over the years, and honestly, that IS part of the fun of working in IT -- constantly learning new stuff.

See ya in cyberspace! ...and whenever we pop up to the NW to visit folks Emoticon

Gravatar Image21 - Just saw this. It's very sad, but you've contributed so much to be proud of, and managed to have a few laughs along the way. Best wishes, from the first Notes developer at 'that company' to the last.

Gravatar Image22 - Would love to compare notes (no pun) as the company I work for is preparing to abandon 30k seats of Notes for (platform to be named later)

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